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Archive for the ‘pecking order’ Category

Human went batshit last night. Something about some guy called Nelson and a politician of some sorts…I don’t know, I don’t tend to care about the kinds of things that humans get all hot and bothered about, politically. Honestly, I think that bringing the sensibilities of a cat to government might do a lot of good.

Take immigration, for example. If humans just marked the border regularly, then I swear you would see a difference in a week. Never underestimate the amount of trouble that can be avoided by a judicious application of urine. I guarantee that after a few thorough soakings of the border line, nobody would dare cross; who the heck would want to get into a noisy showdown of posturing, scratching, and biting?

Come to think of it, I think that a judicious application of urine is what would solve all your political problems. After all, aren’t societal interactions predicated on posturing, limited combat, and establishing a pungent wall of pheromonal odor? I mean, think about it: War on Terror – judicious application of urine to Bin Laden. At the end of the day, a whole country has to be able to generate more urine than any one guy or collection of people hiding in a cave. You get that power together and drop it collectively on those caves? You win. And how about Russia? I guarantee you that if Bush had urinated on Putin the first time the Russian President visited Crawford, U.S.-Russia relations would have been very different.

But I digress. So the human was ripshit about something or another. It’s made him…edgy. Which, of course, made me edgy. Enough so, lestways, that I made him sleep on the couch last night. No way am I letting a pissed off human into the bedroom.

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I meant to post this earlier, but extenuating circumstances – which I shall explain further down the line – prevented it.

Anyway, remember how I said I had the gut feeling that something was afoot the other day? Well, I was right. A whole load of humans showed up in the afternoon and spent hours socializing with my human, shared a meal, and were much taken with yours truly. As is only fitting. I don’t think that the other humans understand the pecking order around here, generally speaking. They don’t seem to get the fact that this apartment is ruled by a hierarchy of two, and that anyone else is an interloper that must show the proper respect.

As it is, they managed to royally freak me out. It’s difficult to deal with, because not only are they ignorant of the pecking order, but they are significantly bigger than me. What’s a cat to do? In the end, I figure it was easier to make lemons out of lemonade and just play with ’em. Some of them seemed to understand what was going on, it served to effectively cow others…All in all, it was what I wanted. It was more fun that I usually get to have, because my human has made it abundantly clear that rough play isn’t acceptable behavior between us two.

Speaking of my human, he’s the reason I was so bloody held up in making this post. I don’t know precisely what happened…he went to sleep fine on Sunday, but when he woke up on Monday it was all sorts of complaining and what looked like a lot of discomfort. No clue where it came from except that it must’ve been one of his friends, but he needed a lot of nursing yesterday and today. I just hope it’s not contagious and that it goes away soon. He gets whiny when he’s sick.

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